Think some emotions, but tucked away in his heart, if not because in a particularly critical juncture, or relationships are not generally ask a positive, the total should not easily speak out. Recall the original, the topic about personal feelings, Xu is just because the reassurance, afraid of speak out later, move the people criticism or joke, but now it seems, but did not tighten the thing, just carefully, in retrospect, it is inevitable to lose some of the good bad facts. Thanks to the recent this array of autumn, the blur my inner shading washed clean, hazy old memories to emerge out of their first love scene.
I here is revealed, legacy of my first love, without losing appropriately describe, actually and unlike some conspiracy theorists known as, is a girl to play the bad. Just because recent is often emotional drama people asked, and its own happens is not good responded to the sake, deliberately let go of the feelings, chase after think of short period and ignorant of the time.
From the village to the town middle school, think horizons open, the only book knowledge changes, whenever the teacher, the students, with the village elementary school in comparison, only the difference in age and beauty. Until the beginning of the school, according to the Chinese teacher’s comments, according to the results of their own to choose the seat, I know some of the rules to come. Sit with me in one place, in addition to a position on the night of my Chen Jun, there is a nice guy surnamed classmates. If not for her initiative to write a note asking my name, I was at that time, I was afraid to go back to the red face to ask her. Chen Jun with me, also want to just the same mind, is the former in front of people very timid kind; fortunately, not long after, he from here, I know the full name of the classmate surnamed Peng.
Although it is a girl, she daner, but inversely proportional to us all; especially in and interpersonal, kept in mind the ideas and personal considerations, absolutely not like me as a distinction between men and women. Her a in male classmates, show exultant skills, seems to be innate; single for this, I privately born, not the fit of the sulks.
Her looks, only in her lunch break, I have secretly read a few back. People grow natural is juicy, and now still remember clear, only her eyes, than others especially to some; that a pair of fresh bushy eyebrows, now seems, as if also take a knife and modified.
I chat with her, at first limited to learning on the exchange, to the later, the situation is not only familiar with each other, there is no concern. Just for her good impression, even if it is a joke, a sentence has not been mentioned. She told me, have had the same understanding.
At that time, home to drop off the snow, after class she invited I together with her to outside playing in the snow, I too busy to catch a job, there will be no according to her, but is she mistook my heart to her with any bad ideas. Her calm and steady face, discontented since went out and came back, Zan in the hand a snowball, while I do not pay attention to, from the back of my neck coat filling inside. At that time, I was about to her face, so that after the one or two week of the middle, she had not been to me, even though it is a dark with her way to apologize.
After this time, wait until the mid-term exam achievement, again out of seat selection, she was deliberately hiding in me. From this day, I have the exchange with her increasingly less down, can be in my mind to lead her to read her, in the classroom to see her number is increasing. Sometimes, when I steal to see her, but I find that she is looking at me. There are so many back, every time I’m in my own table to find one or two of her favorite candy, always make me feel accident in no accident.
The most surprising, but it is that a few days after the snow in the winter solstice festival has not come to school. Her naughty, I know, think again this time with gyrus as, snow bike stubbed his toe. Unbeknownst to her mother, midway dart to her relatives…
Her good learning, and her strong personality, I also know. Last time, but also the snow, she in order to catch the time, a person to take the mountain path, even people with the car slipped into the pool. Arriving at the school, trousers made of ice, face still remained did not wipe the mud from the net, hair is messy does not become a look. Walk into the classroom, everyone is laughing at her, only I a person, in the heart for her tears.
When people are talking about her, said she did not come to school for a few days, about to turn the school, and only I believe that she is only a temporary health. By then, I gradually understand, at that time I have, in addition to late evening, there is a kind of difficult to speak with her stubborn.
“The Xueqiong will not come to class?”
“None of my business.”
“People like you for a year, you really do not have heard it, she seems to turn the school?”
“No, her book is still, I’m afraid I just have a disease.”
I also went to the later, I heard that her father in Suzhou to do building materials business. She transferred the things about, although already familiar with in the heart; however, the star that he was young and stubborn heart, love each hold fluky psychology, always thinks everything has it’s turn for the better, for not willing to accept the fact, always does not love to believe. Only TuoDang to finally, around the seat of students a then a change, in the last row of the classroom in the corner of a desk fell full dust, to repent the beginning of the heart.
Between the heart of the paper, to her letter, a letter to her, and a letter to the later, the accumulation of too much, afraid of being found, but also to destroy one one.
Now, still makes me feel the wonder is that more than once swam in Suzhou, Xiaozhu experience far more than three to five times; however, when living in the remote, won’t want to go to find her. Even inadvertently looked at the people in love partner, touch the emotions from their past, total like not resentful of the fool, temporarily not impulsive.
I always can’t understand whether they are getting silly, or do not know that they have become stupid. Perhaps, for the deceased person, and the late affair, understand or can’t figure it out, have become no longer is nothing urgent thing.
After all, people are always looking to find, just want to find the original feeling, if not in the dream, afraid is already in the dream.